Below are the 10 most recent journal entries.

	2006.07.06  14.30 google earth i decided to take that giant picture down because it was annoying to look at. ie; NOT perty too look at. download the new version of google earth. it is fucking incredible. here is me and k's old place. http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i281/jameshayes/myhouse.jpg sorry about the shitty quality and illegible text. who cares. music: metallica

	2006.07.06  10.33 carpenter's apprentice i drove out to picayune mississippi today to apply for a job, WHICH I GOT. hells yeah. im going to be a carpenter's apprentice. ie; i will be loading in tile and bathtubs to houses and handing people screwdrivers and pliers and hammers and scalpuls. maybe not scalpuls. is that how you spell that? this is going to be awesome. oh yeah, didn't pass the drug test on the schoolbus tip thing. too bad. real men drink on the job anyway, right? this carpentry thing is coming just in time for eric's house, so now maybe i can go over there and hold a t-square or something, read a tape measure and stuff. actually, i dont know how to read a tape measure because i grew up with the metric system. if anyone can help explain this to me that would be wonderful. music: evan dando - baby im bored

	2006.06.29  22.04 if youre feeling sinister dont go see the minister. hey hey everybody, today i trained again today, and found out that my teacher is actually an ordained MINISTER! aaah! so i was tired this morning, nodding off while they talked about all kinds of schoolbus stuff, when out of nowhere the whole class just turned into this crazy southern baptist church thing, everybody yelling and flailing their arms around. i think it was triggered by some commment about "...and the bus driver didn't hit the child, thank god." and then "praise the lord!" and stuff like that. so thats ok, im no hater of religion, i can deal with a little soul. but of course the session took a very expected turn when the lady preach said "AND THATS WHY ALL THESE HOMOSEXUALS IS GOINS TO HAYELL [hell]! ITS THE PARENT FAULT, MUSTA BE DOIN SOME KINDA DRUG OR SOMETHIN. THEY GOIN TO HELL, ITS THEY CHOICE. AND I DONT CARE WHAT THEY SAY, ITS THEY CHOICE, YOU AINT BORN LIKE THAT, GOD DONT MAKE YOU LIKE THAT." a bunch of older guys mumble "yeah you right" and "yeap, yep, praise lord". shit like that. only it went on. and on and on, for a good fifteen minutes, the whole class just ranting about jesus. LETS GET DOWN TO BRASS TAX HERE. CLEARLY, I FELT THAT IF A RELIGIOUS MOVEMENT WERE TO BE REPRESENTED, I SHOULD BE THE ONE TO REPRESENT AN ATHEIST ONE. So I clear my throat, quite forcefully as if I were kicking out some rude element that had shown up uninvited to my wife's birthday party, and everyone sort of hushed down as I started to kick out the word of the MOTHERFUCKIN ANTICHRIST. Actually, I simply acted as a voice of reason, stating my very concrete and nofuckingkidding opinion that this clearly wasn't the place for the Gospel or chit chatting about fags going to hell, and that really, basically, I didn't want to hear it because since its as much your right to talk about Jesus, it's my right to not want to freaking hear it. I felt like being mean, but wasn't since I was thankful that at least the rumble had pissed me off to the point of being totally awake. GO THE FUCK BACK TO MISSISSIPPI YOU CREEPY LADY. YOU SHOULD BE FIRED FROM LAIDLAW EDUCATIONAL SERVICES, INC. Poor Jesus. First of all the guy couldn't get a tan in probably the sunniest place in the world, and now everyone thinks he hates queers. If I wanted to be called a sinner I would have stayed on the other side of the river, right in front of clover grill, and waited there until next February. At least those guys are disrespectful on purpose, and not one hundred percent because of their total arrogance and blatant lack of acknowledgement for even a fluster of reality. Whatev. Sorry my entries are so long, its a pain in the ass I know. I swear tomorrow's will be a picture of a cute kitty. music: evan dando - in the grass all wine colored

	2006.06.28  20.17 training day, #1 yeah. so.. [/irish accent] so how are my friends, who i am about to request accept me into their otherworldly internet lives once again where all is turned upside down, a little better and a little worse than it actually was. so this be the part where i tell you about something right? wrong. ok. [/end irish] ok, boy you're not going to believe this one. wake up. 6.00am. the guinea pig is doing laps around its cage to the DAAA-DAAA-DAAAA-DAAAAA of the alarm clock (did i mention i am babysitting my mom's guinea pig, she is pregnant and can't be around rodents [i think she's just sick of the thing because it doesn't know a goddamn trick or even ever make a cute little face or something]) * this annoys the hell out of me and i grab a knife and go for it. ive turned into a monster, guys. i sit up and the its freezing. i sweat in my sleep pretty badly, even with the ac on 11, even though most ac's go to 10. ha. so anyway i don't know why, im sorry, just DEAL WITH IT- i can easily spend a dark night of heavy opium fueled sleeping in the dead of winter (even in the andes mountains, back when i was an Inca, thats all over now though). when i wake up, well, its like someone just revived my slowly pumping junked out heart WITH A SHOT OF FUCKING COCAINE STRAIGHT TO THE BULGING VEIN THAT CROSSES MY TEMPLE. did you know when i sleep my veins swell up like ballons and i turn all kinds of colors and glow. i don't do any drugs, guys, AT ALL EVER, so keep in mind this is just what im assuming it's like, you know, from, you know, movies with johnny depp. so im soaked, not in any fun, playful bodily fluid, just in my own lonely, staunch sweat. of course i fall asleep again and wake up at 6.28, already late. hop in the shower, very carefully maneuver out of the shower (careful, that's some slippery tile j-j!), wipe the wet off my butt, comb my hair a hundred and one times and hop on my banana seat girls bike with tassles on it. yay! hey there's marsha. i am sure glad i bought this little mean bro. SERIOUSLY. my bike is black, and has things like skulls with mohawks, dice valve caps, and a few naughty phrases i'd prefer not to talk about since i want to talk more about sweating. METAL. SWEATING METAL. so the ride to the algiers ferry from my uptown mansion isn't bad at all. it's not really a walk in the park, more like a bikeride down st charles, but just as easy. i was smart today and wore my breathey, bikeage (Descendants anyone?) condusive clothes, you know, a polyester collared shirt and polyester pants. NOW HOLD ON I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I ONLY OWN TWO PIECES OF POLYESTER CLOTHING YOU JERK, I just matched up wrong today. get to the ferry ramp for nothing but the choppy brown river, it smelled like it always smells, and feeling every kind of uncomfortable that god created. oh yeah, i joined the church on jeff davis + canal because they had something funny on the sign one day. i went to sleep on the ramp until the ferry got there. got on the ferry once it arrived, huddled in a corner, fell back asleep. boy was i tired! the alarm clock was having some kind of system failure at 4 in the morning. boy is this interesting! I DONT KNOW HOW YOU PEOPLE DO IT. i guess you also aren't supposed to map out your entire day, just one or two parts of it, or some kind of neat anecdote about the president or cats or maybe a naked picture of yourself if you are cool? i went to the wrong place first, but easily corrected my mistake in a timely fashion that did not render my day useless, ie. myself fired. note the profesh talk. i got to harriet tubman elementary just on time to grab a desk in front of the ac. uh, SCORE!! training was informative. i did not know about the smith system of safe driving, i didn't know how many lights there were on a schoolbus. do you not know what im talking about? oh, im sorry, im becoming a School Bus Driver. they call themselves PROFFESSIONALS in the video. HA! yeah, forty hours of training and you're a proffessional huh? yeah. how awesomely dangerous irresponsible and COOL is this? i will be a schoolbus driver, almost exactly like the schoolbus driver from the simpsons, sans perm. i have all kinds of tests to take and class rooms to sit in though. i am thinking of getting me a sexy little bus driver's uniform (i think that might be an oxymoron, unless you are stuart murdoch from b&s back when the lad still had a day job). if anyone who is particularly fashion-savvy reads this, please find me some kind of slick gettup to get all up into. i already have the shoes, though i wish they were italian boots. favorite response to ME DRIVING A SCHOOLBUS: 1. that's sad, they're just going to trust you with children's lives. 2. that's awesome! 3. [/westbank accent] man, what the fuck are you doin'? [/end westbank] i'm headed toward a life of civil-service type jobs. im joining the fire department once this training is over. eff it. i need to make it to metairie before 2.30 in the p dixum to get that paypa, yo, dat bert satifikit... no need for my fashion consultants to do any research for the Fire Department uniform, it's already built to withstand the heat. haha.. so, have a good day. and hey, those of you (so many) looking for an excuse to finally bear that child youve been wanting so much, now you have one. " I'm not getting any younger, I just got a raise, and now James could drive them to and from school everyday so I guess this really is just the best time to pop one in the oven." All friends will be allowed on the school bus for occassional "go to work with jamie" day. First times free, second ride ten bucks babyz. song: misfits - angelfuck

	2005.02.18  20.41 my gf she is so cool she rules word. Mood: cold

	2005.02.18  20.35 MOTHERFUCKING WHORE. jared duhon is looking for a job. he is 17 years old, 18 in august. he cant work at major video because they are a porn store. and he's only 17. PLEASE CALL 347-7585. thanks much.

	2005.02.18  20.31 i am soooo cool I am james hayes. i kick butt. word. rule-

	2005.02.18  12.46 kill me. eat shit.

	2005.02.18  12.45 fuck hyou fuck you.

	2005.02.18  12.44 pieces of shit dangling everywhere out my throat. hey, fuck me! Mood: accomplished